Sunday, January 16, 2011

Nice to meet you. I'd shake hands, but I'm holding a cheeseburger.

Name: Brandy
Age: 27 days away from turning 32
Parental Status: One daughter
Marital Status: of last week.
Job: Executive Administrative Assistant for a software company
Education: HS Diploma. Currently in talks for going to school to become a nurse.
Dilemma: I am overweight. And I am sick of it.

Post Married - Pre Jenny Craig 180 pounds

As you can see from my stats above, this blog shall follow my previously successful attempts at losing weight. This will be a bigger goal than I have ever had to tackle. In fact, it's not something I have often had to battle in life. I never gained any weight until about a week after I got married back in 2003. We were immediately stationed across the country from "home" in a small little community in Georgia. For about 6 weeks I had no job, no car, no home even. While we waited on housing, we stayed in motels. Six weeks in a motel waiting around all day for your husband to get off work. Sweltering heat outside. No idea where I was in regard to the things around me. My car had not yet arrived. No work to be found. So what did I do? I sat around and watched DVD's and ate microwaved pot pies. All day. Every day. For six weeks. I gained about 15 - 20 pounds. And my husband put it mildly. I didn't do much to rid myself of that weight for about 2 years. Then I joined up with Jenny Craig and hired a personal trainer. I lost all the weight, and then some, and got in the best shape of my life. All while my husband was overseas in Iraq. The day he got back, I looked so damn good that he had no choice but to get me pregnant...that very night. 

Post Jenny Craig - Around 140ish
With the beginning of my pregnancy also began the ultimate demise of our marriage. Slowly, I realized that no matter what I did, my husband was no longer in love with me and nothing I did would make him happy. My work suffered. My personal life suffered. I health suffered. I slipped into depression and became an emotional eater. I gained 90 pounds while I was carrying my child. Two weeks after she was born, I had shed 23 pounds of water and baby weight. And that weight is where I have stayed ever since. 

She will be celebrating her 4th birthday this April.

Slowly I learned to love my body as it is. I no longer burst into tears when I look at myself in the mirror. I learned to put a little swagger in my step, despite the size of my ass. (which is gargantuan, by the way)
I oft times have fleeting thoughts of going through the weight loss regime again, but had not yet found a great motivational goal. 

Until today. 

1 Week Before Daughter Was Born - Around 257 lbs
Now I grant you, it may be a silly goal, but it's my goal. It is nothing that will change the world, but it could change my world. I live for my daughter. I swear to God, she is my favorite part of everything that exists. All I do all day is dream up new adventures we can go on, new games to play, think of which stories I want to read her at night or which song I'll sing her to sleep with. Now stick with me, because I am leading up to the goal part here. 

Today I was in Target and I noticed that the sunblock displays are back. I love sunblock. I love how it smells. It smells like summer and swimming pools and the beach and picnics and barbecues. I grabbed a bottle of a random brand and dabbed a little on my arm to test how much I liked the smell. It was delicious and reminded me of going to water parks as a kid. Then I thought of how this summer I'd like to take my daughter to a water park. **Enter Goal** I want to lose weight so I can buy a swimsuit that doesn't look like it belongs to my grandmother and take my child to a water park this summer. And the best part is, I also have a motivational tool!!! Sunblock. Yes. The smell of sunblock. I shall keep a bottle of it on my desk at work. Whenever I need a little encouragement, I'll smell my sunblock and be reminded of my goal. 

At first I am going to start out slowly. I have no health education besides what they taught me at Jenny Craig (5 years ago) and those sorts of books really do not hold my attention. At first I am starting slowly. I have given up soda. Next step is simply to at less. Stop stuffing my face all day long. I am also going to try to go for a walk each day after lunch at work. Just a short walk. No running. Nothing major. Just get my self going. I sit at a computer all day long. When I can make it up a flight of stairs without huffing, I will move on to the next step. Ultimately, in the long term, I would like to get down to between 130-145 pounds. Last time I checked I was somewhere in the 223 range. Now, that ultimate goal will eventually require some professional assistance and some food guidance. Luckily, I have a friend who is a personal trainer who I know I can turn to for advice, and whom I fully intend on hiring to train me...once I can get a little extra money. 

So join me on the quest. The journey to a water slide summer. Can I do it? Yes I can. Will I do it? Stay tuned... 

Current Weight - Around 225

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