Me and Sloppy Joe Got Married

Lunch Lady Land

I've been searching for the "perfect" job since arriving in Texas. Something that will allow me time with my daughter was pretty much the end of my criteria. I had a job working nights. 10pm - 7am. It was horrible. I had to sleep during the day while my daughter was up and wanting to play. Which gave me guilt and anxiety which hindered me from being able to sleep. So I would "try" to sleep for as long as I could, but when I couldn't stand it anymore I would get up and be with my daughter. But I was exhausted and had no energy. Not for my daughter and not for my job, which was physically demanding. Standing, walking, lifting, sweating and the mental strain of keeping yourself composed when you encounter people who could really use a beat down.

Well I quit that job. And started thinking of new options. I am fortunate enough to have been trained in various tasks involved in office work. I worked in an office for 3 years as an executive administrative assistant and office manager. Great skills to have, right? Well, the problem with that in my new location is that those types of jobs are offered in bigger cities like Houston. Which is an hour away with no traffic. Like at 2 in the afternoon on a Wednesday. During rush hour traffic that commute could take up to 2 1/2 hours. If spending time with my daughter is my priority, those jobs are not candidates for me. I am absolutely not willing to spend an extra 5 hours in the car after spending 9 hours at an office every day. I would miss her life. And I did not have a child in order to miss her life. I have never been a career oriented person. I have lived my whole life wanting one thing. A family. I wanted to be a wife and mother. Stay at home mom is my idea of heaven on earth. But, in this day and age that is not always a possibility. Especially when you are a single mother. Which I am.

Since months before we departed California I started looking at jobs that my daughters school district was offering. One of the only ones that you don't need a degree for (of which I have none) was Substitute Child Nutrition Specialist. AKA - The Lunch Lady.

That's right folks. I can now add the title of Substitute Lunch Lady to my ever growing oddly compiled list of jobs. Let's take a look back at some of the jobs I've had...

"Cast Member" at a movie theater (usher, concessions, ticket sales, etc.)
Attractions Hostess Cast Member at Disneyland
Orthodontic Office Laboratory Technician
Authorized Verizon Dealer Sales Associate (Yes, I worked selling phones at a kiosk in the mall)
Gentleman's Club Door Girl
Christmas Tree Lot Sales Associate
In Processing at a nuclear power plant (paper pusher)
Sales Associate at Disney Store, Gymboree and Walmart
Lunch Lady

(pardon me. Substitute Lunch Lady. )

...just to name a few.

I have tackled many types of jobs, and they were all scary at first. But eventually, I got the hang of it. Well, all except for the Verizon thing. That job really is like legally raping people, and I just wasn't comfortable with that. Folks, if you're looking for a cell phone provider you need to do your research yourself before walking up to one of those places. But anyway...

I am actually excited about this new job. I am very happy to be working the exact days and times that my daughter will be in school. I'll be off on weekends again! They money is okay, but what is most important to me is the time with my child. To me the extra money I would make working in Houston is not worth the extra time they would be taking me away from my daughter. So, get ready for some serious indigestion, cuz I'm headed into the kitchen!

I make hair nets look goooood!

Adventures In DIY - Nail Polish Shelves

I love to take on projects.
They never turn out right.
Even when I actually finish them.

So I will be posting some DIY's that I'll be undertaking to show you folks out there who may be too afraid to take on some challenges that if I can do it, you can certainly do it too. I'm not great. I don't have all the tools I need all the time. But I do what I can and I'm going to start documenting as best I can.

In our new home here in Texas, there is some potential fun to be unlocked. My room has sections of "unfinished" areas due to remodeling over the years and the passing of the house from my wonderful great aunt and uncle to "us". I am not in a hurry to finish the parts that are undone, because I want to take my time and make little touched as fun and interesting and personalized as possible. One of the first things I wanted to do was add some shelves to a section of exposed beams in order to display nail polish. This craft was born of necessity. Over the years, my mother, my grandmother, myself and now my daughter have all bought gallons of nail polish. Up until now we have always stored them in tackle boxes. But when I started thinking of how I wanted to decorate my new room, I started to allow my inner child to play. This is one area of post-divorce life that can be spun into a positive for me. I can decorate my room as goofy or girly or romantic as I want. I looked at lots of different ideas but really I kept coming back to one of my favorite things. Rainbows. I love rainbows. They are so magical and colorful, and I looooove color. In my prayers at night, one of the things I always take time to thank God for is color. What would the world be without color?

So, inspired by the rainbow and in need of some inexpensive decorating ideas I started to think. One of the first things I came up with was displaying our massive nail polish collection. Insta-rainbow. I looked up dozens of ways to display nail polish but everything I saw was expensive. Eventually I settled on adding the shelves I spoke of earlier. I went to Home Depot and found some inexpensive wood, had my dad chop it up and then I painted it. I decided to paint all the shelves a different color. (rainbow!) I'm going with a more flashy/less primary colored rainbow. Today I finally got all the shelves painted and put in place and started adding the nail polish. My daughter started out helping, but this project ran LATE. I turned around and she was konked out.

My daughter helping to organize the polishes

I will admit that I have rushed a bit through this project. I wanted to hurry and get something up on the walls. We use our nail polish every day. So the sooner I could get this project done with, the better. I have some before and after pictures, but I can't honestly say that it's DONE done. I still have 2 sections of shelf and a side wall that need some color. I am thinking of ModPodgeing something fun onto them. But for now, here's what we've got. I would "guesstimate" that I spent about $25.

Adventures In Beauty - Give Yourself a PITicure

For the past few weeks, the Montgomery, Texas temperatures have been upwards of 100 degrees. The other night at 6:15pm it was still 94 outside. When the temp goes up that much, and the humidity is more than 50%, you're gonna get some sweaty pits. For someone like me, it doesn't take long either. Usually in the 2 minutes it takes me to walk from my house to my car and strap my daughter in to her carseat I am sweating in a number of places and on my way to misery. It's so hot outside that it takes my car's a/c a good 15 minutes to cool off. It's friggin hot. I'm friggin hot. I'm hot, I'm sweaty, I feel nasty.

In my new kick of beauty Googling, I found a few armpit health tips. They're working overtime out here and could use some TLC. The first, and most interesting tip I found involved black tea. Here are the instructions I have followed the past two evenings. It's super easy but can feel a little funky.

As dictated by Cosmopolitan Magazine:
Brew a super strong batch of black tea, but instead of drinking it, pour it over a washcloth, let it cool, and then place the compress under each arm for five minutes. Do this every night for two weeks and the tannic acid in the tea will permanently reduce your sweat production. 

What I have been doing is making the tea in a cup, then dunking two washcloths into it, one at a time, until all the tea has been absorbed. Then I lay down in bed and place one folded in half wash cloth under each armpit and hold them in place by closing my arms. The first night was a disaster because the washclothes were touching my sheets, so my bed got all wet. So the following night I put a towel, folded into a rectangle, under myself to catch any tea leaks. My bed was perfectly safe. I also chose this time to put the cucumbers on my eyes. Killed two beauty birds with one stone.

(Now I don't have much shame when it comes to posting personal things on here, but one thing I wont do is post a picture of my armpits. You're welcome.)

In my armpit research, I found something that talked about all the dead skin cell build up that can happen in that area. That grossed me out. Big time. Apparently it can lead to dark skin in the area and also irritation and ingrown hairs, and a simple way to clean yourself good is to exfoliate! Whoda thunk of exfoliating their armpits? Maybe I'm just slow. There are several methods of underarm exfoliating that I found, but the simplest of all was Simple. A popular brand of UK skin care products, called Simple, has recently been made available in the US. I stumbled across a huge display at my local Walmart. I got the Simple Exfoliating Facial Wipes. The good thing about Simple is that they use no perfumes or dyes and their products are marketed as being "kind to skin" and their brand the "sensitive skin experts". Not that I have sensitive skin, but I know that can be a big problem with many people. I figure these wipes are a win-win, seeing as how they are facial wipes, they can also be used to clean my face! I hope that it goes without saying that I recommend using one wipe for your face, and a separate wipe for your armpits. Come on now, people.

I got this bag at Walmart for about $4.99

Adventures In Beauty - Just Call Me "Honey Face"

Aspirin
Honey
Olive Oil
Sea Salt
Epsom Salt
Cucumbers
Black Tea
(Cicero, Lipschitz...)

These simple every day household items have been my good friends this weekend. I have recently become addicted to using Pinterest and Google as aides in my newly launched quest for better skin care, cheaper luxury and a more radiant complexion.

The first goals I wanted delve into were at home/DIY facials. Since moving to Texas, my face has been a never ending host to unsightly zits along my chin line and near my ears. I have no idea why Texas is attacking my face in this manor, but I've had about all I can take. I've had one facial in my life. It was an "alrighty" experience. I know they have got to be better than just "alrighty", but I've never felt inclined to spend money again to find out. Especially since money is not something that I am made of. Finally using my brain for something other than boy crazed meandering thoughts, I took to the internet to see what other ladies had to say about how to fix not only acne, but a host of other beauty issues. Now if you look at my Pinterest you can basically see everything I am about to tell you. But what kind of "reporter" would I be if I didn't try these tutorials out on myself before recommending them to others. 

The first thing I tried was simple enough. Cucumbers on my eyes. This has now become a nightly ritual for me and my five year old daughter. I can't say I see "amazing" results, but I will say it does feel very good and relaxing and in my own small way, a tee bit luxurious. Cucumbers on the eyes are supposed to reduce puffiness and dark circles. Both of which I have. I must say, I do feel slightly less puffy and my eyes seem more open, if you will, when I am done.

Then I moved on to my first facial. The simplest one I found so far. So simple, in fact, that it only has two ingredients: uncoated aspirin and honey. Here are the steps that I followed this morning:

1. Put a few ( I did four) aspirin in a bowl.
2. Add a few drops of water. Just a few.
3. Let the aspirin dissolve in the water for about 30 seconds.
4. Crush the aspirin up
5. Add about two tablespoons of honey to the aspirin mush
6. Apply the honey aspirin mixture all over your face. Scrub it in as you're applying. The aspirin gently exfoliates and has salicylic acid, which is used in acne creams. The honey helps glide it on and acts as a moisturizer.

Here I am at 6am with a face full of honey

7. Let the mask soak in for about 10-15 minutes, until the honey gets hard. (those were the instructions. My honey never got hard (sounds like a personal problem) so I just washed it off after about 15 minutes)
8. Use a warm washcloth to remove the mask. (This seemed too messy to do by the sink, so I just got in the shower where I could make as big a mess as I like)

My review of this facial is: definitely worth it. My face definitely looked and felt great today. Next time though I will try it a little differently. My mixture seemed a bit too runny, so next time I will try maybe 5 aspirin and a teensy bit less honey. Something else I tried was rubbing the mixture on my lips as well. It felt really great, but it was very hard not to lick myself. My mouth did start to water a bit, and after I washed everything off I noticed that my lips were tingly for a while. But in a good way. ha ha

I have tried several more beauty regimes today (tough job, but somebody's got to do it!) and I will be bringing my reviews of those to you as well. But tonight, I am all tuckered out from a day of DIY beauty treatments and I am ready to hit the hay. Good night!

For those of you interested in similar goals and not following me on Pinterest, feel free to look me up on Pinterest at http://pinterest.com/brandylouwho/ My beauty board is titled "(excuse my) Beauty".

Good Weekend

I've been hating life in general these past few months. Since I started working at a place that shall remain unnamed. Crappy hours, crappy pay, crappy working conditions, crappy days off. I get little to no sleep most days, and my "weekends" are usually spent just sleeping and awaking only to feel guilty and downtrodden over missing even a minute of play time with my daughter. I feel the same way during my week days. When I come home around 7:30 in the morning, my goal is to get right to sleep and wake up around 3pm so that I can be with my daughter from then until right after 9 when I leave for work again. But that is never the case. I come home and can't help but let my daughter persuade me into playing with her for a while, or allowing her to lay in bed with me for a while to watch some tv together. That will usually keep me awake, or somewhat half conscious until 10 or 11 am. When I notice the time, I get a feeling of panic and sadness. Now I know that I must get to sleep soon, and I also realize that I will need to remain asleep until it's almost time to go to work again. And I realize that the time I've spent half alive laying in bed next to my daughter while she watches a movie is nowhere near the quality time I had hoped to spend with her.

But this weekend has left me feeling a bit more satisfied than usual. When I got home on Wednesday morning, I went to sleep from about 10am to 1pm. We were going to have some family over for the 4th of July, so I didn't want to sleep too long. Also, most times I can very easily get away with just a few hours sleep. Even a heavy power nap can carry me through a long stretch of activity. And since I knew there would be no work for me that night, I didn't fret too much about it.

I spent the whole day with family. I have missed a handful of family functions and gatherings since I began this new stupid job. So I was very happy that this holiday fell on my midweek day off. I took my daughter and a few other family kids over to the pool and spent about two hours over there with the kids and my grown up cousins. We came back to the house, ate, popped firecrackers and had a jolly good time. I was happy to be able to sleep next to my daughter that night. Sometimes I'm not sure which one of us is the others' security blanket.

The next day was the same. I felt rested enough and I got to be with my daughter mostly all day, save for a trip to the store. Again that night, I slept deep and sound.

Today she woke me up at the crack of dawn, dying to redeem some of her rewards she earns from doing chores to go and get some new nail polish. So we got in the car and sang along to some of our favorite songs, spent two hours shopping for nail polish and looking at various other items in the store. We listened to Disney music on the drive home. She doesn't know it yet, but I'm planning a surprise trip to Walt Disney World for her two weeks before she starts kindergarten. (see blog)

When we got home, she wanted to play some video games in my room, so I layed next to her and relaxed while reading The Hunger Games. About fifteen minutes later when she was done with that, it was nearing time for me to get some sleep for my shift tonight. So I turned on Barbie: A Perfect Christmas for us to watch together. Somewhere in the middle, she sensed I was falling asleep so she slipped out of the room quietly. I never did fall asleep though, try as I might. But it was enough to just lay there quietly tonight, reflecting on my weekend. This is the first time in a long time I feel satisfied and a bit fulfilled. That is, until my mother burst into my room and yelled at me for not being asleep. Oh well. Relaxed feeling gone, I must now prepare for work. Shit.

Just Thought I Would Mention

This is the most random "eff"ing blog ever.

Don't Swim In the Dating Pool, the Water Is Contaminated.

This single mother rarely dates. In fact, since my baby daddy and I split up four years ago I've only been on three dates and had one 4 month relationship. Two of the dates were more like science experiments gone wrong (see example here) than previews of romance to come, and the relationship budded from someone I was already friends with. I don't really go out looking all that much. I'm still not sure how I feel about spending time away from my daughter to go out in search of someone who may or may not be significant in our lives a few years, or even a few months down the road.  


That being said, it's lonely over here. Lately it hasn't been as bad as it used to be because I've been preoccupied with our move and a getting adjusted to working the night shift, but sometimes when I have five minutes to think about something other than "Holy heat index! It is hotter than Satan's bath water out here", I think of how nice love can be. I am a love bug. I love the idea of love and all the warm and fuzzies it can bring. Not to say that my daughter doesn't provide me with warm and fuzzy love...but it's different. Anyone who's a parent and in love with their spouse knows what I'm talking about. You need the love of your children and the love and support of your partner. That's it. I need a partner. My last one sort of bailed. 

So when my mind starts churning in this direction, it also tends to get curious enough to look and see what is out there, but from the comfort and convenience of my computer screen. And I gotta tell ya, this little patch of the world does not seem to be promising anything but trouble. Here are some examples...

This guy.

He goes by the screen name "Bullet Proof Tiger"
His tagline is "I can't be in love if it's plastic"
His intent says he: "Wants to date but nothing serious"
His interests include: Batman, Zombies and Games
His profile states that he "doesn't like stupid people or drama". Why is this nesessary to include? I am of the mindset that that is a given. Does anyone WANT to find a stupid, drama filled person? It usually just happens that way by accident.

But I didn't need to read that far, because at the top of his profile it states that he does not want children. BUZZ


This guy.

He goes by the screen name "Superbowl1000"
His tagline is "I can't hear you over the sound of me being awesome"
His interests: Cut up Guatemalan hookers and bury them in shallow graves on the interstate.
His profile states that his "poops are on display at the Natural Museum of Fine Arts".
(I wish that I had made all that up, but sadly...)
BUZZ

This guy.

He goes by the screen name "Hopefuleyes"
His tagline is "Hard to catch"
His opening line is "FYI, Prince Charming isn't real. If he is real, he's gay. Good luck with that!"
What the?
BUZZ

This guy.

He goes by the screen name "JeremyWD1980"
Aside from his kind of stupid outfit, his profile actually seemed pretty normal and nice...until you get to the bottom and he goes into some sort of past heartache rant that really should be excluded from a dating profile. This is clearly something that needs to be taken up with your ex in private. (See his rant below)

"Random thoughts on relationships: Why do people feel the need to try to cut you as deep as they can when they decide to let go? I don't feel the need to if you are leaving than what are you still doing here trying to hurt me with words lol. See their words say one thing, but their emotional filled words tell the truth. I refuse to get involved in the name calling and pointing out every bad thing they did while yall were together that you hated. If we didn't choose to work it out then; than whats the point in bringing it up now. besides I know right now I may be a little down on my luck because of my bad choices, but I never been a quitter I am a adapter instead;) This is only a bump in my life and I will overcome this hump and get back on top of the hill again. I am curious who will still be there when I get there too.. Anyways just to let the world know I am like that song if you are out to hurt me:

"So give me all your poison
And give me all your pills
And give me all your hopeless hearts
And make me ill
You're running after something
That you'll never kill
If this is what you want
Then fire at will"

....BUZZ

A few minutes on this website and suddenly, "single" doesn't seem like such bad a choice after all. Still, the lonely can sometimes linger. But I'm starting to fear that out here in the woods I may never find the partner I am looking for. In looking back on my ex-husband, I can see where we were just too different. Although his rugged outdoorsiness was attractive to me and made me feel safe if ever we were to be trapped in the wilderness or if my car had a flat, that same ruggedness came with a very stubborn pride. He was just too country raised to appreciate my flower-child, arts loving Southern California raised mentality. We were, as it turns out, not a good match. So how on Earth, here in the woodsy country, am I to find someone less like him and more like me? While not neglecting my child by serial dating.

Ugh! Forget it.