Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Adventures In Dating: That Time I Was Offered Sex At a Gas Station

I don't even have a clever beginning for this story. I was getting gas because I needed it. I pulled up to a pump and noticed a man filling up his jeep on the other side of the same pump. He was possibly in his late thirties. Hard to say because he never took his dark sunglasses off. He wasn't alltogether unattractive. About the same height as me and pretty sturdily built. Before getting out of the car I had been thoroughly engaged in a singalong with Buster Poindexter's "Hot Hot Hot" because I love it. As I was filling up the car I absentmindedly continued humming the catchy little ditty. The man took this as his "in".

Man: How's it going over there?
Me: (realizing other people can hear me) Oh! I'm sorry was I singing too loud?
Man: No that's okay. Are you from arond here?
Me: (glancing down at his ring finger to make sure its unoccupied) I am now.
Man: Oh?
Me: I moved her from California about a year ago.
Man: What brought you here from California?
Me: Ack! It's a long story.
Man: Do you know where I can find a tractor parts store around here?
Me: (laughing) Oh you've got the wrong person. I don't know of anything like that.
Man: Well, what are you up to for the rest of the afternoon?
(God, these pumps are slow)
Me: I don't know really. I just got done having lunch with my daughter, and now I don't know. I might go back home. Or go shopping until I have to pick up my kid.
Man: What time is that?
Me: About two o'clock.
Man: Well you want some company for the afternoon?
Me: (thinking this could be nice. Maybe he'll want to have lunch and tell me all about oil rigging or whatever it is that he does. It seems everybody out here works in oil.) Well what did you have in mind?
Man: (shrugs) Whatever you like. Do you live far?
Me: Not really. About ten minutes or so away.
Man: That's nice. So you want some company this afternoon?
Me: (thinking about it) Maybe. What would you like to do?
Man: (shrugs again)

And right before it comes out his mouth, it occurs to me what's about to go down.

Man: Some quick sex?

I can't believe I'm right. I can't help it. My mouth opens and I ERUPT in laughter. We're at a gas station, fool! This conversation had lasted less than three minutes. We havent even seen each others eyes because were both wearing sunglasses. What do you say to something like that?

"I'm sorry. If I wanted quick sex I'd still be married."

I didn't say that. But it would have been really cool if I had. >:)~

1 comment:

  1. That made me cringe. Ugh no that creepo did NOT just...