So not much to report. Well actually, I have a ton to report BUT...I am not at liberty to speak of it yet. grrrrr. It's frustrating I know. So, since I can't blog about health stuff, I'll blog on "other".
Today I had a photo shoot with my daughter, mother and grandmother. The 4 generation photo shoot we've been talking about since we found out I was having a girl. It was funny how random it turned out. None of us wore matching outfits. It was kind of last minute. My daughter actually wore a Wizard of Oz style Dorothy dress. We took some of just her in that costume because my grandmother had just made it for her so last week when we went to see The Wizard of Oz in San Diego. I'm excited to see how the pictures come out.
I've been a little down lately regarding my health and my dating status, both of which are stagnant at best. But ever the optimist, I am always filled with hope. Even though sometimes hope can get pushed way down in deep corners where it is hard to find and sometimes hard to detect, I believe it is always there. In everyone. So I guess that will be my motivational theme this week for you all. Even I, 90+ pounds over weight and single for quite some time with no sign of a worthwhile prospect on the horizon, can have hope. Hope drives me like a stolen car. Hope keeps me moving and getting out of bed every morning. Hope keeps me smiling and joking and living. Hope is in each of us. The best part of hope is that it is resilient. Like herpes. Even though sometimes you may think it is gone and you haven't heard from it in a while, it can flare up inside of you when you least expect it.
Yes. Hope is like herpes.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Oh my Zumba!
I was possessed yesterday. Possessed by the ghost of my former self. The self with boundless energy that stemmed from not only a passion for living, but a 90 pound thinner frame. For months now I have wanted to try Zumba. An exercise class that I had always described as Jazzercise being taught by Ricky Martin. Yesterday I got an opportunity to try it for free at a place called Team Quest in Oceanside, where a friend of mine was a guest instructor. I was SO JAZZED about this that I forgot myself. Forgot I was overweight. Forgot I was out of shape. I forgot it all. All I could focus on was how excited I was and how much this was going to rock!!
On the drive to the class, I was blasting music in my car and dancing in my seat. When we walked inside, I immediately began to dance. And strut. And pop and lock. And shake my booty. And do body rolls. And this was all while we were signing in!!
We walk over in front of the mirrors. Now I really take off. I'm pacing back and forth. Singing. Clapping my hands. Doing the thing where you extend both hands down in front of you, palms extended and jump up and down while sticking your butt out. You know what I'm talking about? Have I mentioned that at this point the class had still not started and there was no music playing? ...yeah.
Now it is finally time for business. The music starts. The students line up. We face the mirror and we take our first steps and swivel our first hips. I am going all out. Hitting every move. In my head I'm thinking "Ye-uh! Ye-uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Get it! Get it! Get it get it get it get it!" Any TruBlood fans out there? Remember that scene right after Eric lets Lafayette drink his blood, and he feels so good that he starts running around humping the couch and freaking the fireplace saying "I feel like !@#ing dancing!" ? That was me.
Then half way through the opening song...all that hot mess caught up with my fat ass. Suddenly there was an elephant on my chest and I could not take deep breaths. Suddenly I noticed the sweat poring down my face. Suddenly I felt like I had taken a package of NyQuil and all the good sleep part of the drug was hitting. Suddenly my inner monologue sounded more like "Oh my sweet lord. What the hell were you thinking? You are fat and out of shape. You aint worked out in over a year! Lord make the pain end!" ...and then the first song ended.
About half way through the class, a terrible pain took over the left side of my back. Oh dear God. Am I so out of shape that I just threw my back out doing aerobics?? What in God's name? I could hardly stand up all the way. My movements got slower and less precise. I couldn't even recall which movement had caused this disaster to impend upon me. Half an hour later on the drive home I figured out it was just gas. REALLY?! Are you even kidding me? Taken out by a blocked fart?? (God I'm gross. Whatever. It's a blog baby, and I'm not holding back. You want the good the bad and the ugly? You come sit next to me. But not too close, because apparently Zumba makes me want to fart.)
So suddenly (but not suddenly enough) the class is over. Thank you Jesus...I'm not dead. But I am hot. And sweaty. And my word do I stink! Whatever I did, must have worked. I was standing in a pool of my own sweat, back hurting and smelling like a gym locker. On our way out of the class I see a scale and step on it.
Oh what the hell? I gained 4 pounds?!?
On the drive to the class, I was blasting music in my car and dancing in my seat. When we walked inside, I immediately began to dance. And strut. And pop and lock. And shake my booty. And do body rolls. And this was all while we were signing in!!
We walk over in front of the mirrors. Now I really take off. I'm pacing back and forth. Singing. Clapping my hands. Doing the thing where you extend both hands down in front of you, palms extended and jump up and down while sticking your butt out. You know what I'm talking about? Have I mentioned that at this point the class had still not started and there was no music playing? ...yeah.
Now it is finally time for business. The music starts. The students line up. We face the mirror and we take our first steps and swivel our first hips. I am going all out. Hitting every move. In my head I'm thinking "Ye-uh! Ye-uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Get it! Get it! Get it get it get it get it!" Any TruBlood fans out there? Remember that scene right after Eric lets Lafayette drink his blood, and he feels so good that he starts running around humping the couch and freaking the fireplace saying "I feel like !@#ing dancing!" ? That was me.
Then half way through the opening song...all that hot mess caught up with my fat ass. Suddenly there was an elephant on my chest and I could not take deep breaths. Suddenly I noticed the sweat poring down my face. Suddenly I felt like I had taken a package of NyQuil and all the good sleep part of the drug was hitting. Suddenly my inner monologue sounded more like "Oh my sweet lord. What the hell were you thinking? You are fat and out of shape. You aint worked out in over a year! Lord make the pain end!" ...and then the first song ended.
About half way through the class, a terrible pain took over the left side of my back. Oh dear God. Am I so out of shape that I just threw my back out doing aerobics?? What in God's name? I could hardly stand up all the way. My movements got slower and less precise. I couldn't even recall which movement had caused this disaster to impend upon me. Half an hour later on the drive home I figured out it was just gas. REALLY?! Are you even kidding me? Taken out by a blocked fart?? (God I'm gross. Whatever. It's a blog baby, and I'm not holding back. You want the good the bad and the ugly? You come sit next to me. But not too close, because apparently Zumba makes me want to fart.)
So suddenly (but not suddenly enough) the class is over. Thank you Jesus...I'm not dead. But I am hot. And sweaty. And my word do I stink! Whatever I did, must have worked. I was standing in a pool of my own sweat, back hurting and smelling like a gym locker. On our way out of the class I see a scale and step on it.
Oh what the hell? I gained 4 pounds?!?
Monday, January 31, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
"Somewheeeeere under 220...."
Okay, I have a mini-goal to help me along the way. This will be good, since the last few days...let's just leave it at I could have done better. I did something I rarely do the other day, I weighed myself. No surprise I was at exactly what I thought I was. 223. Of course I was wearing all my clothes, shoes, a sweatshirt and holding a breakfast burrito in my hand, but that's not the point. The point is, I have a starting weight.
Next month on the 16th, I am taking my daughter to see The Wizard of Oz musical in San Diego. I have chosen that date as my first mini-goal. I am shooting to lose between 5 and 7 pounds by that date. Not for any particular reason. I have no special outfit I am trying to wear to this thing. Just it is an event with a date and it sounds reasonable enough. 5-7 pounds in 3 weeks. That would bring me down to between 218 and 216. From there it's just a hop, skip and a jump to 200. Then 195. And so on and so forth.
I stayed home from work yesterday, and home seems to be where I do my worst eating. My daughter was sick, so we just stayed on the couch together all day. Today and tomorrow are "dress up" days at work, so I will not be walking during lunch. But to make up for that fact, tonight while my daughter is at her dad's for a few hours I decided to clean my entire bathroom. I am a little concerned about how good of exercise this was because I failed to break a sweat. Of course, I took my time, was wearing a sports bra and cotton pants (sexy visual, huh? Woooooo baby!) and had all the windows open. But still, I guess it's better than sitting on the couch eating cookies. Also, to aid in attaining my mini-goal...I am going to jog on the treadmill this weekend. **insert that doom impending music that goes "da-duh-daaaaaaaaaaaa" **
On a side note, I think I got Pinesol on my skin. My arm feels like it is covered in flesh eating red ants.
Next month on the 16th, I am taking my daughter to see The Wizard of Oz musical in San Diego. I have chosen that date as my first mini-goal. I am shooting to lose between 5 and 7 pounds by that date. Not for any particular reason. I have no special outfit I am trying to wear to this thing. Just it is an event with a date and it sounds reasonable enough. 5-7 pounds in 3 weeks. That would bring me down to between 218 and 216. From there it's just a hop, skip and a jump to 200. Then 195. And so on and so forth.
I stayed home from work yesterday, and home seems to be where I do my worst eating. My daughter was sick, so we just stayed on the couch together all day. Today and tomorrow are "dress up" days at work, so I will not be walking during lunch. But to make up for that fact, tonight while my daughter is at her dad's for a few hours I decided to clean my entire bathroom. I am a little concerned about how good of exercise this was because I failed to break a sweat. Of course, I took my time, was wearing a sports bra and cotton pants (sexy visual, huh? Woooooo baby!) and had all the windows open. But still, I guess it's better than sitting on the couch eating cookies. Also, to aid in attaining my mini-goal...I am going to jog on the treadmill this weekend. **insert that doom impending music that goes "da-duh-daaaaaaaaaaaa" **
On a side note, I think I got Pinesol on my skin. My arm feels like it is covered in flesh eating red ants.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Wasted Weekend
Health wise, this entire weekend was a bust. Mostly because I was unprepared and occasionally a little emotional. Friday night at Disneyland was great. We had a blast. There was plenty of traffic on the way up, but my friend and I kept the conversation flowing in the car. Soarin' Over California only had a 20 minute line. Score! We checked out ElecTRONica, but the kids didn't really get it. So we headed over to the other park and went straight to Pirates of the Caribbean, which had a 10 minute line. When we came out, Fantasmic was going on right across the street. But we decided to go ride Winnie the Pooh and then come back for the second show. No line for WTP. Sweet! As we headed back over to the Fantasmic viewing area, the fireworks show "Remember...Dreams Come True" started. So we found a terrific spot to watch them, that also allowed us to slip right into a great spot for Fantasmic. After that, the park was closed so we headed home.
The next day I had a few things to do. Everything was planned out perfectly. So perfectly that I was quite proud of myself. But then...**insert ominous music** everything went off schedule. The activity that I planned to take my daughter to in the morning, a princess tea party at the Disney Store, was over filled when we arrived, even though we were 15 minutes early. So we had to wait around 90 minutes for the second tea party. Which made me late to a friends baby shower. When I arrived at the baby shower I stayed for about 2 and a half hours, but right as they were about to open presents my daughter woke up from her nap, so I headed home. I didn't want to skip out on her during our weekend together.
Today during the afternoon she started getting a fever. Her nose had been running for days, but now she was getting worse. Tonight she is asleep right behind me, but she keeps crying and shivering. She keeps mumbling things, but I can't understand what she is trying to say, and I honestly don't think she understands either. Earlier we spent the evening on the couch watching "Julie & Julia" (or "the lobster movie" as she calls it) and "Tinkerbell and the Great Fairy Rescue". If she's not better by morning I am going to stay home with her. I hate leaving her when she's so sick feeling. Just the last few paragraphs have taken about an hour to write because she keeps having a rough time. :( Poor baby.
This entry didn't talk much about food or exercise because there was virtually no exercise this weekend, and the food I ate...I am too ashamed to admit too right now. On top of everything else, my recent divorce has me a little down this weekend. Valentines Day is coming up, and I truly love it. I have always loved valentines Day, and I don't know why. They were never that great for me. But the idea of an entire day dedicated to love and romance and little pink hearts just sounds too wonderful to be true. I love love. I really am great in a relationship and I am wasted as a single person. I've decided that this Valentines Day my daughter is going to be my sweetheart. Even though she's my sweetheart every day. But I'm planning on picking her up early from school and having a picnic on the beach with her. I called ahead to checked, and was stoked to confirm that pizza places will make you a heart shaped pizza on Valentines Day. Diet or no...you gotta have a little fun sometimes. :o)
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| Mickey faces the Dragon in Fantasmic |
The next day I had a few things to do. Everything was planned out perfectly. So perfectly that I was quite proud of myself. But then...**insert ominous music** everything went off schedule. The activity that I planned to take my daughter to in the morning, a princess tea party at the Disney Store, was over filled when we arrived, even though we were 15 minutes early. So we had to wait around 90 minutes for the second tea party. Which made me late to a friends baby shower. When I arrived at the baby shower I stayed for about 2 and a half hours, but right as they were about to open presents my daughter woke up from her nap, so I headed home. I didn't want to skip out on her during our weekend together.
Today during the afternoon she started getting a fever. Her nose had been running for days, but now she was getting worse. Tonight she is asleep right behind me, but she keeps crying and shivering. She keeps mumbling things, but I can't understand what she is trying to say, and I honestly don't think she understands either. Earlier we spent the evening on the couch watching "Julie & Julia" (or "the lobster movie" as she calls it) and "Tinkerbell and the Great Fairy Rescue". If she's not better by morning I am going to stay home with her. I hate leaving her when she's so sick feeling. Just the last few paragraphs have taken about an hour to write because she keeps having a rough time. :( Poor baby.
This entry didn't talk much about food or exercise because there was virtually no exercise this weekend, and the food I ate...I am too ashamed to admit too right now. On top of everything else, my recent divorce has me a little down this weekend. Valentines Day is coming up, and I truly love it. I have always loved valentines Day, and I don't know why. They were never that great for me. But the idea of an entire day dedicated to love and romance and little pink hearts just sounds too wonderful to be true. I love love. I really am great in a relationship and I am wasted as a single person. I've decided that this Valentines Day my daughter is going to be my sweetheart. Even though she's my sweetheart every day. But I'm planning on picking her up early from school and having a picnic on the beach with her. I called ahead to checked, and was stoked to confirm that pizza places will make you a heart shaped pizza on Valentines Day. Diet or no...you gotta have a little fun sometimes. :o)
Thursday, January 20, 2011
So Far...So Good
Not much to report today. All good news though. Orange and water for breakfast. Another orange for snack. (I'm really feelin' these oranges lately) Took another walk to the beach again, but I forgot to time this one. Another Subway but this time I added the 80 cal chicken soup. Yee ha. For dinner I had a Lean Cuisine french bread pizza. 4 bottles of water today.
I'm feeling positive. Feeling like this is a great idea at the right time and I'm glad that it's at my own pace. It's a good pace for me to start at.
Tomorrow night after work a friend and I are taking our daughters to Disneyland. This can work as a plus...and a negative. The plus is aaaaaaaaaall the walking and carrying kids and lugging of strollers on and off of trams. The negative, the food. I'm not gonna lie. We'll most likely eat at McDonald's on the way up or the way down. So...how do I work this?? Do I eat super lite all day and then get smacked with calories at night and just "work it off" at Disneyland? Or do I just take the hit and move on after that? Or do I not eat anything?? Uuh...the choices are endless. What will I do? Stay tuned.....
I'm feeling positive. Feeling like this is a great idea at the right time and I'm glad that it's at my own pace. It's a good pace for me to start at.
Tomorrow night after work a friend and I are taking our daughters to Disneyland. This can work as a plus...and a negative. The plus is aaaaaaaaaall the walking and carrying kids and lugging of strollers on and off of trams. The negative, the food. I'm not gonna lie. We'll most likely eat at McDonald's on the way up or the way down. So...how do I work this?? Do I eat super lite all day and then get smacked with calories at night and just "work it off" at Disneyland? Or do I just take the hit and move on after that? Or do I not eat anything?? Uuh...the choices are endless. What will I do? Stay tuned.....
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| The beach treasures I've collected so far. |
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| The sunblock on my desk. |
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| The beach from my office at sunset. |
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
I've been a bad bad girl...
Today has gone down the crapper. But, I am gonna keep my chin up and move forward on a positive foot. It started with breakfast. I was rushing around this morning because it was my daughter's first day of school for the week. So I was making her breakfast and her lunch and trying to make sure we left on time. I wound up eating 3 slices of wheat toast and the crust I cut off of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. When I got to work, I had some grapes and carrots with fat free ranch...and a Diet Dr Pepper. Then for lunch our office ordered Rubio's, and I am of the mindset that free food trumps healthier food that I have to pay for. So, I picked the chicken tacos. It came out to around 600 cal. Not sure how much it actually was thought because I did not eat the black beans.
Tonight I was supposed to meet with a college counselor to discuss going to school and financial aid and yadda yadda yadda. So, right as I was leaving work to go meet with her, my mom sends me a text saying when she picked my daughter up from preschool her nose was running, she started to cry and she had had an accident. So, I called the counselor and canceled my appointment and came straight home. She was fine when I got home, so ...oh well. I felt bad that she didn't have a good day though, so I took her to Toys R Us to spend some rewards I had earned. When we were done, before we left she needed to go to the bathroom. I H-A-T-E the bathroom at Toys R Us. It is always a disgusting, filthy poop bomb. So while we're in there, not only is it dirty as usual but the toilet paper dispenser is acting a fool. So I start to get crazy feeling inside because I am trying to hold her up so not much of her touches the toilet and yet grab some paper without dropping her into the water. Also, I was getting hungry. So when we left there, we drove straight into the Burger King parking lot. I was feeling crazy from lack of food and the creepy-nasty bathroom experience. I'm not even going to look up the calories of what I ate.
To make matters worse, I skipped my walk today so that I could leave work early to meet with the counselor lady.
Oh well. Tomorrow is another day.
Tonight I was supposed to meet with a college counselor to discuss going to school and financial aid and yadda yadda yadda. So, right as I was leaving work to go meet with her, my mom sends me a text saying when she picked my daughter up from preschool her nose was running, she started to cry and she had had an accident. So, I called the counselor and canceled my appointment and came straight home. She was fine when I got home, so ...oh well. I felt bad that she didn't have a good day though, so I took her to Toys R Us to spend some rewards I had earned. When we were done, before we left she needed to go to the bathroom. I H-A-T-E the bathroom at Toys R Us. It is always a disgusting, filthy poop bomb. So while we're in there, not only is it dirty as usual but the toilet paper dispenser is acting a fool. So I start to get crazy feeling inside because I am trying to hold her up so not much of her touches the toilet and yet grab some paper without dropping her into the water. Also, I was getting hungry. So when we left there, we drove straight into the Burger King parking lot. I was feeling crazy from lack of food and the creepy-nasty bathroom experience. I'm not even going to look up the calories of what I ate.
To make matters worse, I skipped my walk today so that I could leave work early to meet with the counselor lady.
Oh well. Tomorrow is another day.
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